Taking Time to Heal After Divorce


Utah’s marriage rate has trended downward the last couple of decades, with a rate of 8.1 (per thousand persons) in 2015. Utah’s divorce rate was 3.6 in 2015 and has also been trending downward. While a decreasing divorce rate is a good sign for marriage, the fact remains that people are still getting divorced. If you’ve decided to divorce, hiring a good lawyer is the first step you want to take.

Once you’ve gotten the process started, or perhaps after it’s all over and you no longer need to think about your spouse, your marriage, or who gets what, you’ll want to take some time to heal.

Remember that divorce says nothing about you as a person

One of the first steps toward healing is to remember that getting divorced does not mean you are inferior, bad at relationships, or anything else you might think about yourself. Rejection is a common feeling after divorce, whether you were the one to initiate it or the one who was left.

You should keep in mind that all relationships end eventually. Death ends even lifelong relationships. Just because yours ended as a result of divorce doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. No matter the reasons behind the divorce, you are still a good person, and fully capable of moving on to have other, healthy relationships eventually.

Get to know yourself again

Over the course of a marriage, we often eat, drink, or wear things that we don’t particularly like because our spouse enjoys them. We may have taken on a hobby that isn’t a particular favorite because it was one we did with our spouse. We read books they recommended, watched TV shows, movies or sports they wanted us to watch with them, or decorated our homes in ways they requested.

So take some time to get to know you again. Explore new foods, new fashion styles, new hobbies and interests. Browse bookstores and pick up whatever strikes you. If you see a movie that intrigues you and your first thought is, “Oh, she wouldn’t like that movie,” go see it! Learn who you are, and what you like again.

Work on new relationships (or rebuild old ones)

We tend to spend a lot of time with our spouses, and once we’re divorced, sometimes we feel lonely. Cultivate some new relationships – not romantic ones, but new friendships. Meet new people with similar interests, enjoy a girls’ or guys’ night out, join a bowling league or book club.

Get in touch with people you used to be friends with, and rebuild those relationships. Surround yourself with people who are supportive, loving, and genuinely rooting for you.

If you’re not divorced yet, but you know it’s coming, you should definitely hire a lawyer before doing anything else. The lawyers at UtahDivorce.Biz can help you get the ball rolling, so you can get on with the healing process.

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